The Book
by Code Purple
Summary: Wally's reading a book. Robin wants to know what it is. Hilarity and awesomeness ensues.   No slash, slight Dick/Babs, oneshot.


**I like torturing these characters way too much. :D**

* * *

><p>Robin walked into the living room of the Cave after finishing his homework.<p>

He saw his best friend slumped on the couch, reading something intently.

"What are you reading?" The Boy Wonder asked the Fastest Kid alive.

"Nothing. Science textbook."

"Really? Can I see?" He was smirking now.

"!" Wally started to run, and Robin tripped him.

The book fell quickly out of Wally's hand. Actually, considering, it fell rather slow.

It was definitely a hardcover book, but the sleeve wasn't on it, making it hard to identify.

There was silver duct tape on the side, so he couldn't read the title.

Wally regained balance and snatched the book right out of Robin's hand and ran away, to do the chores he never needed to do in the first place.

Before leaving he huffed, "You will not get my book this time, Rob!"

...

He totally would.

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, Wally actually bothered to hide it.<p>

At his uncle's science lab.

Also unfortunate: it was highly illegal to break into there to steal a _book._

Fortunate: Robin wouldn't get caught.

Definitely not.

He snatched the book from straight out of the desk it was in, got out, and zeta-ed back to his city.

So our favorite troll was walking back home in Gotham after obtaining the book, strutting down the street as if he owned it.

Well, he kind of did. Indirectly.

And he had to save a certain Artemis Crock from a gang.

He'd laugh about this with her. Someday.

She punched a guy in the face, thanked him, but she really didn't need any help, it was barely sundown anyway.

Robin rolled his eyes and walked her back home.

After he did so, he tried walking himself home.

Like a robot, or a guy on a mission, he listed what he had to do in his head.

Number one objective, GET HOME.

Number two, READ BOOK.

Number three, EMBARRASS WALLY. SOMEHOW.

The thoughts echoed his head. This was the mission.

And Bats don't fail at missions.

But another block in his path came along: Fangirls.

They were usually fairly tame, but today their objective wasn't actually a far cry from his.

GET BOOK. FIND OUT WHAT BOY WONDER LIKES READING. ATTEMPT TO USE THAT FOR CONVERSATION.

Ugh.

Grapple hook time.

Hook. Swing. Hook. Swing.

Hide in the shadows.

Go to Batcave.

Was it weird that this was like instinct now?

Meh.

* * *

><p>Once in the Batcave, he changed out of his costume, and into his other one, Richard Grayson.<p>

And was promptly shoved out by Daddy Bats himself.

It was claimed that this was high security Justice League stuff, and that meant that Robin didn't fit into the equation, and neither did Richard.

It didn't matter, he was on his way out, anyway.

Dick plopped himself on the large couch.

Just as he cracked open the book, he was nearly startled by Alfred.

"Would you like a cookie, Master Dick?"

Richard smirked back.

"Sure, Alfred."

He helped himself to a few of the amazingly delicious concoctions, and felt his cell phone vibrate.

Oh, what now?

It was a message from Barbara Streisand.

Or, actually, Barbara Gordon. But because it annoyed her, that's who it said it was from.

Or Babs.

'_I need help. Meet me at Gotham Harbor in ten. Civvies.'_

Civvies? Just what kind of predicament was his friend in?

_'Sure. I'll be there.'_

He quickly texted back.

"Hey, Alfred? I'm meeting Babs at Gotham Harbor, be back soon!" He announced. Then walked out.

He had his utility belt on him, that was a given.

* * *

><p>When he finally arrived, Babs was waiting for him.<p>

Not Batgirl, so he decided it was either something to do with her dad or an undercover mission.

"Dick."

Her face was solemn and solid, her green eyes liquid and quivering and she looked like she'd been crying.

He noticed her hair was messy, like she had been crying into her pillow.

"Can I stay at your place for a while?" The question seemed to linger in the air, so thick he could capture it in a jar and keep it forever.

"Sure. I'd have to ask Bruce, though. I'm sure it'll be fine."

She nodded.

He didn't ask what happened, didn't want to force it out unless absolutely necessary.

Halfway home, the words slipped through her mouth.

"My dad's sick."

"How bad?" He asked.

"Delirious. He couldn't remember me."

"You're pretty hard to forget."

"Yeah, what with my awesomeness and all."

"I think you're confusing yourself with me."

"I think I'm pretty awesome, thank you very much."

"Sure you are, Babs. Sure."

"... I hate you."

He smirked.

Once home, he sat on the couch.

"Hey, Babs." He said.

"Yeah?"

"Wally's been reading something embarrassing, and I'm finding out what it is."

"Cool."

He cracked open the book to the title page, and burst into laughter.

His hand gestured to the title, and soon Barbara was cracking up right with him.

"Kid Flash reads TWILIGHT?" She gasped out.

"Apparently."

They cracked up again.

* * *

><p>"Wally."<p>

"Yeah?"

"Do you like sparkly vampires?"

"Wha-?"

"Would you like to kiss a sparkly vampire named Edward? I didn't know you liked Twilight, Wally." He smirked and walked away.

"IT WAS A DARE! STOP! ROBIN, STOP!"

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><p><strong>Review? ^.^<strong>


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